Man’s Mind

According to my German teacher from 10th grade, you can explain and analyze everything with the help of Sigmund Freud’s theories. So to vindicate my following complain I take good, dear, old Freud as a helper.

Men can’t show emotions and stand up to them and women still believe in fairy tales and Mr. Right!

According to Freud, all uncomfortable emotions or feelings are hidden in the unconscious (the part we don’t have access to). The ‘id’ is the source which feed the unconsciousness. It’s build of two biological forces: sex and thanatos( death or destruction instinct).

Ergo all suppressed feelings are based on the id! Everything related to these two forces which seem uncomfortable is buried deep down. Because feelings are often considered as weakness, hurtful or uncontrollable, men are afraid off them and conceal them down in the unconsciousness. They construct the foundations, the invisible roots, which will steer their behavior, like running away.

But why do women still hang on to romance? These illusions put up their walls, which protects them from reality and ‘bad wolfs’.

The Preconscious is the part which is not actively used. The information stored in this part are known, so that they’re accessible, but most times to uncomfortable, so they’re better hidden under the surface. The water around the iceberg represents everything that we’re not aware of or haven’t experienced yet. It’s also called the nonconscious. Consequently if a woman wants a man to show his feelings, she should assume that this is unknown territory for him and introduce him slowly.

So why is love so difficult to find in today’s society and why is communication between gender even tougher? Why do we need to show a superficial indifference towards it and create a psychical mess?

If we would open our eyes, we would eventually realize that we’re surrounded by love. LOVE sells as well as sex, and violence. Movies, shows, literature analyze these points in every variation and because it’s such a seller, it all climaxes in Valentine’s Day to boost the economy.

All in all humans care too much about other’s opinion, stereotypes and put themselves under pressure to fulfill a certain stigma or expectations. If we want to give these simple four letters profounder meaning than roses on Valentine’s Day, then we should be brave enough, to tear down our walls, dig up our feelings and face reality without the help of alcohol.

7 responses to “Man’s Mind

  1. Great, and true, good old Freud…goes to show, women have their heads in a cloud and men are pigs… 🙂

  2. I must say I don’t agree.

    Since the beginning of mankind, the two sexes have had difficulties in understanding each other. Otherwise there wouldn’t be two sexes with different levels of hormones that control almost everything when it comes to love and sex. There would only be one that could handle the reproduction by itself.

    Throughout most of mankind’s history, men have dictated everything – even how a woman should be. A “good” woman was romantic, week, willing to abide, cook and clean and not stuff her head with things she did not understand (will say politics, human rights, love, sex, work, culture etc.).

    To say that women are romantic and believe in Mr. Right is no longer accurate in my opinion. Instead we should focus more on individuals. There are individuals (both men and women) who are romantic and look for Mr/Mrs Right. There are individuals who are afraid of showing their feelings.

    I think that our modern society shows that men and women in fact are starting to understand each other better. All this because we are learning to look at the person in front of us – not the gender.

    Of course I don’t mean to say there are no differences between men and women. I just don’t think that we, in the 21st century, should generalize and instead look deeper.

    And Freud? He wanted to know the reasons for certain behaviors. He looked at the individuals as well and looked for answers. A good idea, and if that is true, the reason for not showing emotions (which, as you say, usually means men) lies in the childhood, where probably the parents have forbidden the little child to cry. But Freud also says that every man has an unconscious wish to kill his father and sleep with his mother.

    Now, let’s just hope he’s wrong.

  3. What you mean is called Oedipus Complex. I didn’t include it, because I didn’t want to include all of Freud’s theories.
    Take a look at Hollywood: We live in a society which generalizes. Sterotypes are everywhere, therefore I’ve also written this post and I am glad you critizised this point. I have the opinion that sterotypes brought us to this point of denying our emotions. How often have you not done something because you expected somebody would oppose your behavior?
    Let’s hope people look deeper who is in front of them and let’s hope people stand up to what they are, even though they’re afraid of it.

  4. But then I don’t really understand what it is you’re really trying to say : That we try to generalize everything and that this is bad, or are you generalizing men and women in your very first statement of this post ,and if so, do you think thats good or bad?
    Of course Hollywood is the most extreme example, nothing is normal there and it is horrible how they set standard for many things. But before Hollywood and all romantic movies that give false ideas, there were, as you say, fairy tales. Of course that leads to the fear of showing what the true emotions are. I just don’t agree with you when you say that men are so, and women are so. I think that we, in the modern western world, can leave that stereotyping behind.
    Stereotypes are in fact everywhere, but I see a trend of wanting to break the stereotypes. Globalization has changed a lot – we are becoming more and more self aware and aware of the diversity in the world.
    I agree with you that people change their behavior according to different situations because they think they have to act a certain way, and I hope you see my point 🙂

  5. Rebecca Parlakian

    I think both biology and psychology play a role. Certainly romantic relationships have a physical and hormonal component. But relations between men and women have a strong psychological component too. Our own individual histories and families and the patterns of behavior we have experienced and observed have an extremely powerful influence on how we relate to our life partners. Some of these patterns and ways of interacting are healthy and affirming and good, and others are unhealthy at best and damaging at worst. It is both courageous and incredibly difficult to have the self-awareness to examine our own behavior, own it, be open to identifying unhealthy patterns, and make a conscious choice to do something differently. Those old patterns are powerful and difficult (not impossible) to break–and often they are, as you say, unconscious in the sense that they are “kneejerk” reactions we have to situations. However, it is possible for us to change when these reactions are not helpful to us. When both people can do it togethr in the context of a relationship, that is when you can experience true intimacy.

  6. wow, only looked at this and the last post – great discussion and freud is (if only bc of the beard) my kind of animal. you write well and the reading is a pleasure. this blog definitely is something special. and people can learn a lot.

  7. I hope you already made the difference between the love that I would call “from the stomach” and the love from the heart.

    I think you refer to the human love, the one sustaining the eternal game genders play. In this case, the game comes to an end as soon as the one knows, that the other belongs to him (or her). I would underline, like you did, the presence of this type in our society, more precisely its sex instinct.

    Thus, I define love as an opened term. There is for mankind a way to discover a feeling which is not directed or linked, emprisonned by an objective, but opened and without any condition. This feeling in my opinion the only one which is durably fulfilling. There, the is no fear to express feelings, or to access different kinds of unconscious states, you are only there, open-minded, and for the most important, free.

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